Horsemen (2009)

Since David Fincher's Se7en reimagined the modern crime thriller as a trawl through the darkest reaches of mankind's psyche there have been a host of imitations, but none quite as obvious as Horsemen (released in the UK as Horsemen Of The Apocalypse). In place of the seven deadly sins there are the four horsemen of the apocalypse, but apart from that all the pieces are in place, from the dimly-lit sets to the melancholy antihero.

They might as well have come clean and simply called it Fo4r.

The comparison would have been no bad thing if Horsemen in any way lived up to its predecessor, but this movie loses marks for more than just originality. Its greatest distinction is the way in which its final twist manages to be both predictable and confusing, and that's not the kind of quotation the movie's producers will be putting on any posters.

Still, if Se7en left you hungry for another warped crime spree, then Horsemen at least manages to conjure up some inventive and gory deaths. This is one crime thriller that favors blood and guts over plot twists and common sense, making it the cinematic equivalent of a Rammstein video. Given that director Jonas Akerlund also worked with the dance metal band earlier this year, that should come as no great surprise.

Detective Aidan Breslin (Dennis Quaid) is still recovering from the emotional disturbance of his wife's death, as are his two sons, Alex (Lou Taylor Pucci) and Sean. If he was distant before, then he's even more so now, often leaving them to fend for themselves while he's wading through paperwork down at the precinct. He barely even registers that Alex has been regularly skipping school until his teacher points it out.

Breslin's home life is put on hold once again when he's called in to assist on a bizarre investigation into a full set of human teeth, discovered on a platter in the wilderness with the words 'Come and See' written on the four trees surrounding it. Despite the fact that there's no body Breslin treats it as a homicide, once he discovers evidence suggesting that the owner of the teeth was alive and kicking when they were extracted.

A second body soon follows, strung up by a series of hooks and metal cords to a macabre frame. Once again the words 'Come and See' are written on the walls, but otherwise there's no apparent connection. The victim was the mother to three girls, one of whom, Kristen (Zhang Ziyi), was adopted at the age of eight. Kristen forms an unusual attachment to Detective Breslin, and as the investigation unfolds their relationship takes a new and troubling turn.

To give any more away would be to undermine Horsemen's few remaining shocks, but suffice it to say that there are further bodies, some truly grisly deaths, and very little that makes any sense. Peter Stormare appears briefly as Kristen's adoptive father, but he clearly had the smarts to get out of the narrative before it managed to entangle itself completely. It's hard to know what's more unsettling, the vast amounts of gore and suffering we're shown on the screen, or the fact that someone thought this sorry mess of a plot made any kind of sense.

Quaid is uncharismatic as Breslin too, mumbling and scowling his way through the script with all the emotional range of a cheesegrater, and it quickly becomes clear that he's drastically unsuited to such a downbeat role. Zhang Ziyi fares even worse, although that's largely the fault of the stream of cliches she's fed as the script goes into melodramatic overdrive. Clearly her character learnt English from a stack of cheap potboilers.

Horsemen's one saving grace is the darkly gothic atmosphere it conjures, but even that pales next to the freakish invention of Se7en, and at the end of the day it offers little more than a watered-down reprise of the material it so clearly wanted to emulate. Still, if Se7en Lite is all you're looking for, then this might just hit the spot.

2/5

Buy Horsemen at Amazon.com
Buy Horsemen Of The Apocalypse at Amazon.co.uk

Crank 2: High Voltage (2009)

Oh my. Where do you even start with a movie that takes itself about as seriously as plastic vomit?

If the original Crank attempted to push the margins of the action genre, then Crank 2: High Voltage forgets there are margins at all as it spins wildly off into the distance. A crazy mash-up of cartoonish humour, ultra-violent action, and some truly terrible bad taste, this makes Bruno look like a suitable choice for movie night at your local Rotary club.

Perhaps the most remarkable achievement of writers/directors Mark Neveldine and Brian Taylor is that all this frenetic mayhem feels anything but brainless. Sure, it often delves into pits of bawdy humour and unacceptable behaviour that mark it out as one of the most wildly inappropriate action movies ever, but you can't help feeling that the movie's this way because that's just how Neveldine and Taylor wanted it.

If bad taste could be an art form, then Crank 2: High Voltage is the Sistene Chapel.

Jason Statham (The Transporter) returns as Chev Chelios, a man with an extraordinary ability to put himself into potentially lethal situations, and the proud owner of one of the most blatantly ridiculous names in modern cinema. Mind you, Chev doesn't last for long. As the movie opens he plummets from the sky, smearing himself across an L.A. street. He's scooped up from the tarmac (literally - they use a snow shovel) by a team of Chinese medics, and when he regains consciousness he's strapped down as they remove his heart and replace it with a mechanical organ.

Already feeling that this might be the most ridiculous film in recent years? Well, in that case you'd better know that they're intending to harvest his other organs next, starting with his penis. Needless to say, Chev is relieved when he manages to escape.

He still needs his heart back, however, and the mechanical replacement has a battery that only lasts an hour. Fortunately it can be charged through his skin, which means that Chev has to spend the rest of the day connecting himself to car batteries, getting Tazed, and rubbing against old ladies for the static charge (and no, I didn't make that last one up).

Have we lost you yet? If not then we'd better throw crazed Chinese hooker Ria (Bai Ling), Full Body Tourette's sufferer Venus (Efren Ramirez), and hundred year old Chinese Lothario Poon Dong (David Carradine) into the mix. Any of these characters would be enough to sink most films, but here they almost feel at home. And we won't even mention the fact that Spice Girl Geri Halliwell makes a cameo appearance as Chev's long-suffering mother.

Statham does his best with the lead role, but for most of its running time the film itself is the real star of the show. Shot with a manic energy that's certain to set off a migraine if you stare at it for too long, Crank 2: High Voltage is the most ridiculously excessive action ride that you're likely to see, this year or any other. Other directors have attempted the same trick (Shoot 'Em Up is probably the closest equivalent), but they look like fairground rides in comparison.

Of course, if you're not stunned into submission by the film's frantic pace and wild camerawork, then you'll certainly be shocked by the rude, crude, and occasionally disgusting route that it takes to its final climax. If you don't feel morally battered and bruised by the end credits then I'd recommend seeing a priest.

If it weren't all told with a sly wink and a knowing nod, then Crank 2: High Voltage might be taken for just another bad movie. As it is, it veers so wildly outside the parameters of most mainstream cinema that it seems churlish to even attempt to judge it by the same criteria. The end result is a middle-ground score that fails to do it justice, or to fully warn you of its potential to disgust and repulse. But love it or hate you, you'll have to admit that there's nothing else quite like it.

3/5

Buy Crank 2: High Voltage at Amazon.com
Buy Crank 2: High Voltage at Amazon.co.uk

Killshot (2009)

When any movie is shunted to a DVD-only release, it's usually a sign that something has gone seriously awry. Whether it's the result of on-set conflicts, directorial hissy fits, or disgruntled writers, you can guarantee that it's suffering the result of somebody's cock-up.

In the case of Killshot, it appears to have been the studio's lack of faith in their product that led it down the DVD-only route. When test screenings flopped, The Weinstein Company forced director John Madden's hand, resulting in wholesale changes to both the movie and the story it attempted to tell.

Were they wrong to do this? Without seeing both versions of the film side by side it's impossible to tell, but it's hard to believe that the director behind Mrs. Brown and Shakespeare In Love would have cut a truly terrible movie.

All we're left to judge by is the finished product, however, and even this has taken three years to make it onto our screens. In fact, given Killshot's messy birth it has ended up as a remarkably enjoyable crime drama. It still has its flaws, but there's nothing on show here to hint at why the Weinsteins found it so objectionable that it's languished in a vault since 2006. Both Mickey Rourke and Diane Lane have made worse movies since then (see Jumper and The Informers for proof of this), and Killshot deserved better than the raw deal that it got.

Naturally it still has its flaws, not least of which is the casting of Rourke as Mafia hitman Armand 'The Blackbird' Degas. He may have the steely exterior of a professional killer, but the black ponytail and liberal applications of bronzer really aren't a good look. It's never entirely clear whether Blackbird was intended to be a Native American, or simply some kind of Miami hippie throwback.

If you can ignore the slightly bizarre image choices, though (and let's face it, hitmen have never been renowned for their fashion sense), then Killshot casts an intriguing web of fear and violence as it unfolds, largely thanks to the source material from Elmore Leonard's novel of the same name.

Blackbird makes his first mistake when he hooks up with unpredictable, headstrong thief Richie Nix (Joseph Gordon-Levitt). Nix is the poster boy for walking hard-ons, and it clearly won't be long before he gets both of them into some serious trouble. That trouble comes when an attempted extortion shakedown goes wrong, and estranged couple Carmen (Diane Lane) and Wayne (Thomas Jane) are forced into witness protection prior to testifying against them. Blackbird's as patient as he is unstylish, though, and it doesn't take him long to track them down.

There's little that's new or unexpected in Killshot, but it's handled well enough to keep us hooked right through to the final payoff. Rourke does his best to make his ponytail look credible, but it's Gordon-Levitt and Rosario Dawson as his junkie girlfriend Donna who truly make the movie spring to life. Alongside Rourke's Blackbird they seem amateurish and impulsive, and that's the point: there have been few more accurate portrayals of the petty, part-time crook in the last decade of crime thrillers.

Blackbird's character arc is an interesting one too, and you have to applaud Elmore Leonard for his ability to weave together narratives from a variety of different threads. The fact that the kernel of his story still survives intact, despite the studio in-fighting, shows just how strong that narrative is.

With the exception of Rourke's orange tan Killshot doesn't offer us much that we haven't seen before, but it still weaves its story with precision and panache. Maybe The Weinstein Company really did just have issues with that ponytail after all.

3/5

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Buy Killshot at Amazon.co.uk

Is Anyboy There? (2009)

Michael Caine's resurgence as an actor has been one of the great cinematic success stories of the last ten years. His performances in The Dark Knight and The Prestige are arguably among the best of his career, and given the gems in his back catalogue that's no mean feat. To be producing them in his mid-seventies feels like a near-superhuman achievement.

Is Anybody There? can certainly be added to the ever-expanding list of outstanding performances that have dotted his late career, although it's by no means the best film he's appeared in. Among the cliches and bungled attempts at transcendence Caine still manages to shine, but the rest of director John Crowley's overly sentimental look at old age and mortality doesn't fare quite so well. Take Caine's central performance out of the equation and we're left with something rather overworked and melodramatic.

Fortunately Caine remains as the cornerstone of Is Anybody There?, though, and with his talent at its core it becomes a surprisingly satisfying and touching movie. Ten-year old Edward (Bill Milner) has more issues at home than most, as his parents struggle to run an old people's care facility in the house's spare rooms. Their constant wrangles with death and senility don't just put a strain on their marriage, they also cause Edward to develop a worrying obsession with ghosts and the afterlife. When he starts recording the residents as they breathe their last breath you can't help feeling that he's stepping over a line.

It's then that Clarence (Caine) comes into his life, and things slowly start to turn around. Clarence is curmudgeonly and unsympathetic in the extreme when he first arrives, having been ordered to the care facility by his welfare officers, but he gradually warms to the socially inept and rather morbid young boy.

As their friendship develops, so Edward uncovers the facts behind Clarence's life, and the regrets that are still eating away at his happiness. At the same time, Clarence uses his experience as a professional magician to bring Edward out of his shell, and even encourages him to interact with his peers among the living. You just know that things are unlikely to end happily, however, as old age gradually creeps up on Clarence.

The rather obvious self-help message behind Is Anybody There? frequently threatens to undermine the narrative, an Oprah-style therapy-lite that often feels clumsy and overworked. The ensemble British cast summon up some strong performances, but there's no getting beyond the fact that the entire story revolves around a cliched message to 'live life among the living'.

Luckily Caine's performance truly shines amidst this pseudo-spiritual dross. This is as good as we've seen him, and his grumbling, misanthropic Clarence is all the more poignant when viewed alongside the brief glimpses into his starry-eyed youth. Caine's is a face that we've all grown up with, and the juxtaposition of his young pretty-boy looks with this twilight performance adds an extra layer of sympathy that the scriptwriters could never have foreseen. It's as if Alfie has finally grown into the sad, lonely old man that we always knew he'd become.

There's always a danger in placing too much importance on a single performance, but on this one occasion Michael Caine really does save the day. See Is Anybody There? for his shockingly emotional portrayal of a life slowly slipping into decline, and try to forget about the made-for-TV cliches that surround it.

3/5

Buy Is Anybody There? at Amazon.com
Buy Is Anybody There? at Amazon.co.uk

The Informers (2009)

Take a series of short stories by critically acclaimed literary star Bret Easton Ellis, toss in a selection of experienced actors, a few up-and-coming ones, and a director with a handful of successes under his belt, and you should come up with something far more impressive than the vacuous slickness of The Informers.

To say that this movie misses its mark could quite possibly be the understatement of the century. It's like watching The Young And The Restless, just without the realism or depth.

So where did it all go wrong? There will be those who point the finger at Bret Easton Ellis's source material, but anyone who has read his original collection of interconnected short stories will tell you that there's far more on the page than we're shown up on the screen. Less Than Zero and American Psycho have become minor classics, too, so it's clearly possible to translate his prose style into cinematic greatness.

That leaves us pointing the finger at director Gregor Jordan, and here some of the dirt starts to stick. The entire movie is imbued with a sense of moral and artistic vacuousness that might have been taken as ironic, if it was in any way funny. Instead of critiquing the senseless airheads that cavort at its centre, however, it elevates them onto pedestals, trying to spin some kind of classical decadence from a bunch of mid-Eighties rich kids who really don't know how to keep their clothes on.

Then there are the casting choices, which only serve to further undermine the film's already hollow core. There are some good performances from the old hands, particularly Mickey Rourke, Kim Basinger, Winona Ryder and Billy Bob Thornton, but they're too often shunted aside in favour of the film's younger element. In their place we're shown some of the most agonisingly pretentious performances ever to hit the screen, and you have to wonder whether Jon Foster and Mel Raido will ever make it onto our screens again after this talentless sleepwalking routine.

Is it really that bad? Yes, yes, and yes again. Imagine a movie that takes all the worst excesses of Eighties cinema and crams them into 98 minutes of excruciating self-absorption. That movie would still be better than The Informers.

Who knows, maybe there's a genuinely intriguing film buried somewhere in its misjudgements and outtakes. An entire subplot featuring Brandon Routh as an L.A. vampire was purged from the film, a sure sign that Gregor Jordan had no idea what to do with Ellis's more challenging material, and with a change of focus it might even have turned into a bearable exploration of mid-Eighties excesses.

As it is, though, The Informers does little more than highlight the moral vacuousness of the period (as if we didn't know that already), then raise the most vacuous of its preening characters onto shiny marble pedestals. If you enjoy watching ignorant, self-obsessed people doing ignorant, self-obsessed things, then you'd be much better served by watching the new season of American Idol. At least then there might be the occasional glimmer of wit or personality along the way.

Less than zero indeed.

1/5

Buy The Informers at Amazon.com
Buy The Informers at Amazon.co.uk

Goodbye Solo (2008)

Depression and suicide may not sound like the perfect topics for a feelgood movie, but Ramin Bahrani's Goodbye Solo surprises on many levels. Not only has Bahrani served up one of the most intriguing and poignant films to appear in cinemas this year, but he's done so with a largely inexperienced cast, and even his two stars are hardly household names. Not yet, anyway.

As with many of the best stories, the narrative itself is deceptively simple. Senegalese immigrant Solo (Souleymane Sy Savane) drives a nighttime taxi around Winston-Salem, North Carolina. One night he picks up William (Red West), a morose and surly old man who offers him a deal. He'll pay $200 in cash if he'll pick him up on October 20th and drop him off at Blowing Rock, a notoriously windy outcrop in the nearby mountain range. He doesn't want a return trip, and he doesn't want any questions asked.

It's clear to everyone, Solo included, that William intends to commit suicide, but Solo refuses to let him go quietly. He slowly befriends the old man, introducing him to his wife and stepdaughter, Alex, and to his friends and associates. He even shares his own private dream with him, a desperate aspiration to become an airline attendant. (Interesting trivia point: Souleymane Sy Savane used to work as a flight attendant for Air Afrique).

Nothing quite works out the way it's supposed to, though, as the trials and tribulations of Solo's own life test even his seemingly bottomless goodwill. We may never quite get to the root of William's malaise, but it seems all too reasonable in a world where your hopes and dreams can fall apart at the drop of a hat.

If this still sounds like a terribly depressing jaunt through misery and heartbreak, then we've failed to do justice to Savane's Solo. He's as sensitive and sympathetic a character as you could ever hope to meet, always bouncing back from the often sordid and painful details of his life, and as such he acts as the perfect foil to William's despair. There's something almost saintly about his broad, innocent smile and his guileless generosity.

Neither Savane nor West may be household names, but Goodbye Solo rests firmly upon their solid and inspirational performances, as they lead us through practically every emotion on the human barometer. It's hard to imagine two A-list stars being able to take us on this touching and resonant journey, and even the long periods of silence are heavy with meaning and expression.

If Goodbye Solo has one failing, it's that the pace may occasionally wind down a little too much for some viewers, but it's hard to blame Bahrani for indulging his actors like this when they're giving such startling and nuanced performances. It's certainly no Hollywood thriller, but that can only work in its favour. This is a film about human emotion and our amazing capacity for survival, and it's only stronger for refusing to sink into melodrama.

Of course, none of this means that Goodbye Solo is destined to be viewed by the wide audience that it deserves, and it will be a minor miracle if any of those involved end up on the Oscars list. With resilient souls like Solo around, though, maybe miracles aren't too much to hope for after all.

5/5

Buy Goodbye Solo at Amazon.com
Buy Goodbye Solo at Amazon.co.uk

G.I. Joe: The Rise Of Cobra (2009)

It's a sign of the scarce pickings among this year's summer blockbusters that G.I. Joe: The Rise Of Cobra was considered one of the season's premiere releases. It features no major stars, some truly shocking special effects, and is based on the kind of franchise that looks more at home on the Cartoon Network than on the big screen. And yet somehow G.I. Joe still snuck onto 2009's blockbuster list.

Part of the credit has to go to director Stephen Sommers, who used the leftover kudos from his time behind the helm of The Mummy to drag Brendan Fraser and Arnold Vosloo onto the set. Neither has a terribly major role, but they spend just enough time in front of the camera to lend it some extra credit, as well as making it feel like a Mummy spin-off.

Then, of course, there's the key central pairing of Channing Tatum and Sienna Miller, two bargain basement stars who nonetheless look good enough on the screen to please those who like something pretty to ogle while at the local multiplex. Both are also surprisingly good actors, but we all know that's not why they're on show here. G.I. Joe: The Rise Of Cobra really doesn't require anything as highbrow as acting from its cast (even from those who should know better - we're looking at you, Jonathan Pryce).

If you're unfamiliar with the G.I. Joe franchise then the first thirty minutes of the movie will come as a vaguely surprisingly, but largely confusing, rush of hi-tech gadgetry and barely-contained testosterone. Once an entirely superfluous prologue is out of the way (Sommers really does seem to think that he's making another Mummy sequel), we're shown the future of international conflicts, as weapons expert James McCullen (Doctor Who's Christopher Eccleston) unveils his latest warheads. They're filled with the most up-to-date nanotechnology, a nanobot that eats through metal while endlessly replicating itself. If it lives up to the marketing hype, the warhead should be able to destroy entire cities in a matter of minutes.

Soldiers Duke (Tatum) and Ripcord (Marlon Wayans) are given the task of delivering the warheads, but of course things don't go according to plan. Before you can say 'nano what?', a mysterious evil organisation has attempted to snatch the warheads from their grasp, the soldiers have been drafted into a secret international force called, even more mysteriously, 'G.I. Joe', and McCullen has revealed his rather obvious bad guy credentials.

Along the way there's plenty of action, some terrible CGI effects, and lots of rippling muscles. Repeat that on a loop for almost two hours, and you have G.I. Joe: The Rise Of Cobra.

The one thing that it excels at is selling the franchise, and the backers at Hasbro must be more than happy with the perfect product placement up there on the big screen. Plenty of characters are introduced to keep the registers ringing through to the other side of Christmas, including Ray 'Darth Maul' Park as Snake Eyes and Joseph Gordon-Levitt as evil genius Cobra Commander, and the vehicles seem to have jumped straight off the toy store shelf.

It's easy to pick holes in a movie that sets its sights at this base a level, but there's no getting beyond the fact that this is a film that's aimed squarely at its target market. G.I. Joe: The Rise Of Cobra looks and feels like a movie that's been written, directed, and possibly even acted in by a ten year old boy, and if you happen to fall within that particular demographic then chances are that you'll love what you see here.

Unfortunately the rest of us will find it just a little too dumbed down to take seriously, although it's remarkably hard to resist such an unflinchingly relentless adrenaline rush, even when the special effects look like they were programmed on a DS. G.I. Joe: The Rise Of Cobra seems destined to become the new favorite movie of stoners and preteen boys everywhere.

Perhaps the film's biggest oversight, though, is the casting of Dennis Quaid as G.I. Joe chief General Hawk, when the role clearly should have gone to action movie icon Chuck Norris. Then they might truly have had a cult hit on their hands. Instead G.I. Joe: The Rise Of Cobra simply feels puerile and cartoonish, two traits that should recommend it to its target audience, but alienate the rest of us.

Mind you, it still makes more sense than Transformers: Revenge Of The Fallen.

2/5

Buy G.I. Joe: The Rise Of Cobra at Amazon.com
Buy G.I. Joe: The Rise Of Cobra at Amazon.co.uk

Bruno (2009)

After the outright hilarity (and vulgarity) of Borat, many people wondered what comedian and provocateur Sacha Baron Cohen would turn to next. He seemed to have Hollywood eating from the palm of his hand, and a couple of brief appearances in Sweeney Todd and Madagascar 2 barely even scratched the surface of his talents.

The answer, of course, is Bruno, a movie that's so similar to Borat you have to wonder if Cohen actually might have run out of ideas.

Sure, gay Austrian TV presenter Bruno is a hilarious creation in his own right, but you don't have to a be genius to spot the similarities. A European TV star comes to America, tries to fit in, wilfully misunderstands and humiliates a sequence of celebrities and politicians, and somehow survives being chased by baying mobs. Bruno might as well be subtitled Borat 2. He even indulges in homoerotic wrestling with his assistant, which is something that none of us wanted to see again.

Of course, audiences don't go to see a Sacha Baron Cohen movie for the storyline, and fortunately the gags and set-ups are as uncomfortably funny this time around as they were two years ago. Cohen has clearly found the perfect vehicle for his comic ambushes, and he's not ashamed to use exactly the same devices twice, as long as the laughs still keep coming.

And come they do, although be warned that you'll be cringing more often than chuckling. If you thought Borat was shocking, wait until you catch an eyeful of Bruno. And trust me, you're going to see almost all of him.

Highlights include an interview with Paula Abdul about her humanitarian work while she sits on a Mexican laborer, an attempt to make a sex film with presidential candidate Ron Paul, and a truly shocking interview with a 'gay converter'. The scene where parents agree to hire out their children for the most outrageous and obscene acting assignments is a true eye-opener too.

If you've already seen Borat, though, then you can't help feeling slightly swindled by Bruno's shock-tactics. This doesn't feel like a new movie so much as an appendix to the last one, and while it's undoubtedly a very amusing appendix, it can't help losing some of its potency along the way. Even the humour sometimes loses its focus, and occasionally you'd be forgiven for thinking that Cohen's poking fun at the homosexuals he claims to defend, rather than the homophobes he rubs up against.

Of course, it's still very, very funny in places, and while it's not the kind of film that you'd take your grandmother to (not unless she's into full frontal male nudity, of course), there's plenty to make most audiences laugh, giggle, and gasp with shocked glee. Occasionally the laugh count flags, particularly when the script returns to the largely unnecessary plot, but this is about as funny as bad taste gets.

Mind you, Bruno still feels like Sacha Baron Cohen treading water, when we'd much rather see him doing laps. Let's hope his next movie isn't about a European TV presenter called Byron - then we'd really start to get deja vu...

3/5

Buy Bruno at Amazon.com
Buy Bruno at Amazon.co.uk

Adventureland (2009)

When cinemagoers heard that this comedy-drama was to be written and directed by Greg Mottola, the genius behind the foul-mouthed hilarity of Superbad, they undoubtedly started wetting their stadium-style seating in anticipation. After all, Superbad is arguably one of the funniest movies of the last ten years, and certainly one of the most influential. Even the one-word title added to the impression that Adventureland would be a side-splitting sequel.

Imagine the shock, then, when it turned out that Mottola's latest project placed its focus firmly on the drama half of the comedy-drama equation. There are still plenty of laughs to be had, but none that can compete with Superbad's filthy ribaldry, and you have to sit through a coming of age story/teen romance to get anywhere near them. It's not so much a comedy as a lesson in misspent youth.

Once the vague aura of disappointment has dissipated, however, Adventureland turns out to be surprisingly competent look at what it means to be young, directionless, and desperately clumsy in the presence of the opposite sex. Some of us may have been expecting a few more laughs, but you have to respect Mottola's attempt to turn his hand to more conventional storytelling.

Apparently much of the narrative is based on his own teenage experiences, so it should come as less of a surprise to find that Mottola's story manages to be both quirky and grittily realistic. Jesse Eisenberg plays James Brennan, an intelligent and idealistic teen who has nonetheless managed to fall into the all-too-common hole of a directionless summer. He'd been planning to tour Europe before attending Columbia in the fall, but when his parents withdraw the funding for his trip it's the best he can do to secure a low-wage job at the local theme park.

Of course, spending a summer among his peers (and mountains of frozen corn dogs) proves to be an education in itself. When he meets Emily (Twilight's Kristen Stewart) he immediately falls in love, in the way that teens do, but she comes with plenty of unseen baggage. Her hollow-eyed gloominess turns out not to be an act, as she wrangles with an unsympathetic stepmother at home, and entangles herself in a borderline abusive relationship with the park's married handyman, Mike (Ryan Reynolds).

Does James get the girl? Well of course he does, and Mike gets his comeuppance too - although not as much as we might have liked. Clearly someone with Reynolds' good looks is allowed an occasional extra-marital affair with a teenager.

Mottola does his best to inject Adventureland with an offbeat quirkiness, but there's no getting beyond the fact that this is a story we've seen many, many times before. It doesn't reinvent the coming-of-age movie so much as shuffle the constituent parts, and while there's a spark of originality to the setting it's just not enough to lift it above the heads of its peers.

There's still plenty to be enjoyed in Adventureland, especially Bill Hader's hilarious performance as park manager Bobby, but it's too fragmented to truly engage us. Mottola can't seem to decide whether he wants it to be a romance, a comedy, a coming of age tale, or a nostalgic autobiography, and it winds up falling short on all accounts. Plus the ending seems to give Mike a green light to prey on other teenage girls, which is simply wrong.

As long as you can sit back and enjoy the ride, though, there's a well-acted and believable love story hidden in the mix. Just don't expect it to win any stuffed toys.

3/5

Buy Adventureland at Amazon.com
Buy Adventureland at Amazon.co.uk

The Taking Of Pelham 123 (2009)

It's totally in keeping with Tony Scott's excessive MTV directorial style that his version of 1974 thriller The Taking Of Pelham 123 should reimagine it as an adrenaline-soaked, balls-out, white-knuckle ride. After all, if he'd attempted to make it any other way he'd have almost certainly been setting himself up for failure.

Luckily for all of us, then, he doesn't attempt to recapture the original's subtler nuances, preferring instead to pack it with psychotic performances, high-stakes shootouts, and fast-paced action sequences. Even the non-action sequences are shot as if they were, ensuring that the audience stays nauseous and disorientated for the duration of the film, even if they're not on the edge of their seats.

Whether any of this can be considered a good thing or not will largely depend on your opinion of Scott and his frenetic storytelling style. There's no doubting that this new version of The Taking Of Pelham 123 fails to live up to the original (and let's face it, very few directors could have pulled that one off), but it does at least have a manic energy of its own. As long as you're content to ride the rollercoaster rather than try to make sense of it, you might just emerge with a smile on your face.

Denzel Washington takes on the Walter Matthau role, although he's been shifted from the Transport Police to NYC subway dispatch. Walter Garber (Washington) just happens to be the unlucky soul who's calling the shots when gun-toting psycho Ryder (John Travolta) leads a team of men to hijack a subway train. Hostage negotiator Camonetti (John Turturro) attempts to control the situation, but it's clear from the outset that Ryder will want to deal with the affable Garber instead. It's just that kind of movie.

James Gandolfini also shows up in a surprisingly amusing role as New York's Mayor, but we're left in little doubt that this is Washington and Travolta's show. Everything hinges on the chemistry between the two lead men, and between Denzel's stoic calm and Travolta's ridiculously camped-up craziness they manage to keep our eyes glued to the screen.

The final act rapidly derails the entire story, but The Taking Of Pelham 123 still provides some visceral entertainment along the way, even if it sometimes feel more like a pantomime than a top-notch drama. Tony Scott has always been about playing things fast and loose (see Man On Fire and Domino if you're still in any doubt), and this remake is no exception. He may be playing with another man's narrative, but that doesn't keep him from injecting it with a massive shot of adrenaline, and a little chaser of crazy.

What Walter Matthau would make of all this spitting and cussing is uncertain, but you can bet that he'd feel dizzy just watching Scott's jerkier edits. Loud, dumb, and curiously unstoppable.

3/5

Buy The Taking Of Pelham 123 at Amazon.com
Buy The Taking Of Pelham 123 at Amazon.co.uk